Wednesday 13 April 2016

Is it all just wank?

This week is proving difficult. To understand the luxury market I've been diving into the most prestigious stores Paris has to offer. I've been sampling perfumes that all smell like hotel soap to me, marvelling at eyeshadow compacts priced at $140 a pop, and been approached by waif-like French girls in smocks who spout barely pronounceable epithets of 'creative directors' as though I should fall at their feet on hearing such hallowed names.

The most exclusive boutiques at the Palais Royal
 
Yes, I appreciate that this is a rather odd definition of 'difficult'.

The truth is that I'd rather abseil down the Eiffel tower naked during an electrical storm than take a single step over one of these store's thresholds in my normal day-to-day life. Getting too close to the price devoid, sparsely populated, confusingly mirrored showrooms starts my heart pumping with fear and dread in a way that nothing else can.

I know I said at the start of this adventure that I'd throw myself whole-heartedly into the discovery of a different culture, but it's just so much larger a leap than I've ever had to make before. In this shiny new world I listen to perfectly manicured men and women launch their practised monologues on the subjects of 'couture', 'exclusivite' and 'brand DNA' and, the moment my concentration wavers, it turns into 'WANKER, I'M A WANKER, SUCH A BOURGEOISE WANKY WANKER!'.

Is it just me? I've felt comfortable in so many other cultures. In Japanese nerd culture, in death metal culture, in acute mental health wards and in third-world villages... all have made sense to me and I've found an immediate joy in learning my role in each one. But this?

I've read that in luxury fashion over 50% of all purchases are returned to the store. Apparently people go to highly expensive outlets for the experience of being treated like a wealthy, glamorous individual. They enjoy the process of choosing an item (or having it chosen for them), of fitting, of packaging and of payment - perhaps even a free gift thrown in - but have little or no interest in owning the final product long-term.

Apparently they also have the balls to go back in there and request a refund.

Shops where you wouldn't DREAM of browsing through the clothes on display

Luxury beauty (makeup, perfume etc) seems to be a more accessible version of this... people go in there to be advised, even to be given a facial makeover, without having to splash out the thousands of dollars that might otherwise be required. But still the position of monetary power apparently turns some people rude to the point of abusive. Highly dedicated shop assistants have their sleeves tugged and even their hair pulled by customers who believe themselves to be above the laws of basic human decency.

And, in the meantime, people in highly-polished office blocks separated from it all wax lyrical in overly long meetings served by coiffured baristas about how their employer's brand, identity, heritage and desirability give them licence to spend shareholder funds on elaborate marketing campaigns that loosely connect their mass-produced articles with some higher human aspiration.

What am I missing? I want to get this, I really do... how can I start to appreciate what others already do, even to become one of them? What's the key to turning off the 'Wank Alarm' and becoming a member of the luxury elite?

6 comments:

  1. I think you know where I stand on all this, stick with it though, only a few weeks and then you can return to sanity. The hipsters in Sydney will seem normal in comparison :-)

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  2. I agree. Well put. Design a wanker logo 😂
    Shall I come over to Paris for a weekend and we can hangout in cool beatnik places? 😀 xx

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  3. Beautiful musing, Rose. I unfortunately can't give insight into the turning off of your want alarm, mine's pretty touchy too. Think of it as a covert operation into the eye of the consumerist storm. The more you know, the more you can empower sustainable counter-culture initiatives to surpass them.

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  4. Beautiful musing, Rose. I unfortunately can't give insight into the turning off of your want alarm, mine's pretty touchy too. Think of it as a covert operation into the eye of the consumerist storm. The more you know, the more you can empower sustainable counter-culture initiatives to surpass them.

    ReplyDelete